Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Alright, i feel bad. I feel bad for not posting sooner.
I'm in a rough spot in my life, including school, money, relationship... just a mix of everything I can't handle at once. Then I forgot I had this blog, as if part of my life written on the internet didn't mean anything. But I've realized I need to pay more attention to myself. I need to do what makes me happy. And what makes me happy is my boy.

The trip to France was good, but I was sick the whole time. It all started when I thought I'd be cool and have some wine on the plane. Thought it would make me just fall asleep and I'd wake up in France. BUT NOOOOOOooo, I fell asleep for 10 minutes and woke up gagging... I had to tell the huge man next to me and old lady who was already sleeping to get up while I was holding puke in my mouth. So I made it to the bathroom and threw up all over the toilet seat and my shoes... The flight attendant told me she couldn't give me any meds. So i sat in my chair with a glass of water and felt my body turn into mush.
I got to France, ecstatic to see my boy, anticipating Amsterdam in a couple days...

But I was sick as a dog, my whole body was in pain. I somehow gathered the strength to get intimate with my guy, because horny is an understatement of what I was feeling.

And then the Amsterdam trip went to shit because there was a train derailment in Belgium a couple weeks prior, so there were no trains passing. The flights were too expensive as well.

Then we tried to go see this amazing castle, we got to see the wonder of it outside, but when we walked to go inside, they were closing in 15 mins and the bitch didn't let us in...

I could continue... but i think you get the point of how the rest of the trip went... but i'll also mention how the boy told me... "stay here, in france with me... and I'll take care of you.." ..... Can you imagine what i was thinking???? All i wanted to do was scream YES!! and cry and hug him. But then the fact of school, money owed for school, and how badly I hate being in school all crawled back into my brain....

Oh and then I got stuck in Montreal airport without my luggage for a day and half... just to conclude the trip you know...

So now i'm back home, in the same rut of missing him, and hating it here.

But i'm currently in the works of trying to get my ass back to france and taking classes there to finish my degree.. And there's still the possibility that the boy will be moving here for a bit...

Its all a bunch of 'what if's' at this point isn't it..

OH! and the other day I did shrooms for the first time I can remember and It was quite the trip. I ended up having a break down in my room and listened to music while I made love with a canvas and paint. But then the high disappeared and I was left with my hands full of paint lol.
Not doing that again for a while..

Hope I wrote enough shit to make up for lost time.. lol.


PS. What does everyone think about this chatroulette?


  1. Sounds like life to me Benny.
    Aim for your goal and get there as quick as you can and then maybe the world will be your oyster.
    Sorry to hear the trip wasn't what it could have been but if nothing else you got to share your time with some one you care for.
    Regards Stef

  2. i miss my euro-boy too... who thought it was a good idea to put an ocean there anyway?!

  3. Benny- too bad you were sick- but definitely glad you got to enjoy the time with your boy and helped clarify where you feel you should be. i think you can make it happen. living in europe is incredible and then you will be at the footsteps for all the places you did not have a chance to get there in this brief trip.

    good luck!